Foul Smelling Armour
by Songbird's Desk
Summary: Arthur is facing the wrath of Camelot including the rats , and he's not sure why. All he knows, is that at the end of the day, he owes his foul smelling armour. Crack. Slash. Arthur/Merlin.


**AN:** Okay, I'm obsessed. Enjoy the crack!

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**Foul Smelling Armour**

Arthur prided himself on his observation skills. So, when the first servant he got after Merlin woke him up two hours before dawn, continuously, he brushed it aside, blaming it on inexperience (he'd had to do that a lot when Merlin was around). Then, his breakfast started to arrive just an hour before lunch, even though he'd ordered his servant to get it when the man had woken him up (which was before dawn). What was worse was that it was stone cold when it should be hot, and burning hot when it should be stone cold. Merlin had managed to get from one side of the castle and back in five minutes with the breakfast at the appropriate temperature. (He blissfully ignored the knowledge that it takes a normal person 15 minutes to get to the kitchens, 5 for the breakfast tray to get ready, then another 15 to get back, and that's using the secret passages). When his hems became 4 inches too short, Arthur blamed it on inexperience yet again, just as he did when his bathwater was icy instead of warm. It was the armour, however, that really annoyed him. Instead of being clean when it was returned, it was a dull brown and smelled awful. Arthur gave the servant a good, solid lecture about how Armour was not to be cleaned with what came out of a horse's rear-end. He explained quite diligently that Merlin had managed to shine his armour so that it _glittered_ and to the point where he could use it as a mirror (he'd left out the bit that Merlin had used magic to do so. High expectations were good for a person). Once he'd reprimanded his servant, (he'd never bothered to learn the man's name) he promptly sacked him. His father was there within minutes to say that _no_, Arthur couldn't sack his servant, and why didn't he go play with the shiny-sword-that-wasn't-so-shiny-anymore? And left with a gentle pat to his son's cheek.

When Arthur complained about his father's interference in getting rid of an incompetent servant, and why couldn't he find someone just as good as Merlin, Morgana gave him The Look. The one that says Arthur-you're-an-idiot-that-needs-to-shut-up-and-pay-attention-to-what's-going-on-because-you're-starting-to-exasperate-me-to-the-point-of-killing-you-even-if-you-are-my-sort-of-brother-and-the-Heir-to-Camelot. Turning to Gwen for sympathy, he found that she had been taking lessons from his sister and giving him the Other Look that says Sire-you're-an-oblivious-prat-that-should-know-what's-going-on-and-if-you-don't-then-you-don't-deserve-to-and-we're-not-going-to-tell-you-anything-so-don't-even-try.

Arthur spent the next week in sorrowful agony, missing the way Merlin would wake him at an appropriate time, the way he would help Arthur into his armour, the way he would laugh at being put into the stocks, and his smile, and his neck-scarf, and laugh and those awful bat ears of his that made Arthur want to nibble on them. In the week of agony, Arthur realised that everyone in the castle had it in for him, even his knights (he was still black and blue from when they'd ganged up on him. The ointment Gaius gave him didn't seem to be working and it smelt worse than his armour). This conclusion caused him to go to his father, complaining that he hadn't done anything to deserve the wrath of the castle's occupants right down to the rats, who had chewed through his shoes _again_.

Uther had given him an exasperated/resigned look and explained to him that he'd sacked Merlin when his magic had been revealed. When Arthur pointed out that he hadn't sacked Merlin because of the other boy's _magic_ and that it was due to the magicy-bastard _lying_ to him, Uther had just laughed. He'd then gone on to say that when Merlin had arrived in the castle, he'd somehow changed people. Maids had sung as they worked, people had laughed more, Arthur had relaxed and started to play pranks (Arthur snorted in remembrance at the one he and Merlin had pulled on Morgana involving honey, rats and her dresses) and, this was emphasised more strongly, _and_ Arthur had started to think about others. Uther stated that Merlin was good for his son and that Arthur had been an idiot for letting happiness and love slip through his fingers so easily, considering that the boy had been in love with the Prince all along. Why else would he risk exposure to save Arthur so many times? Saying that, Uther had left his son to collapse on a bench in stunned silence. Arthur went to his father later that night and requested for Merlin to be found and brought to the castle.

Life improved drastically over the next three days, and when Merlin appeared in the courtyard, Arthur did the one thing he could think of at the time of seeing those stupid ears. He demanded for Merlin to clean his blasted armour, and then promptly snogged him. As the cheers rang out through the castle and the kingdom (apparently Hunith had heard them in Ealdor), Arthur realised that everything he'd been through the past several weeks had been worth it because without it, he'd never have been able to kiss Merlin. After all, this was _Merlin_, his clumsy, goofy, flappy-eared magicy twit of a servant. And, he owed it to his foul smelling armour, of all things.


End file.
